What to do with anger?

In a recent manager's meeting we were talking about the role of anger in our personal and professional lives. Actually, it began with talking about frustration, which I've been taught as being attached to the core emotion of anger. That raised questions like: Is it okay to be angry? What do I do with my anger? Is anger always bad? Someone had done some personal development exercises about anger/frustration and shared the following quote about using them to one's advantage:

"Use anger/frustration to your advantage by channeling it to motivate you and focus even more on the task at hand. Too many people turn anger inwards and destroy themselves rather than taking advantage of it."

Law of Attraction

I've been reminded again recently how important it is to make choices to remain positive in the midst of negativity and toxic attitudes.

The Law of Attraction is simple: like attracts like. The more you create the vibration – mental and emotional states – of already having something, the faster you attract to it. (Jack Canfield in The Success Principles calls this the, “The immutable law of the universe and critical to accelerating the rate of success.”)

It's been obvious around work that people attract more of whatever feelings they are experiencing: being negative, angry, unforgiving about past hurts ensures attracting more of the same. Yet, when you are in a state of appreciation and gratitude, you are in a state of abundance.

Personal Trainer for the Soul

When I talk with people about coaching I sometimes get a quizzical look. It is common to have a coach in athletics, no matter if the sport is a team or individual sport. A Personal Coach is a person who helps people live life fully. It may mean facing challenging obstacles that need to be overcome. It may mean envisioning the potential of a person's one and only life. It may mean gaining clarity to live from a deeper place of conviction. Cheryl Richardson, herself a Life Coach and author of Take Time for Your Life, refers to the role as a "personal trainer for the soul."

Coaching isn't therapy - which is about processing emotional history or diagnosing and treating mental health issues. Coaching is what Richardson calls, "action oriented, with a focus on a client's current life and plans for the future."

How could a personal coach help train your soul?

What Lies Within

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." Ralph Waldo Emerson.

It takes intentional effort to commit to the process of finding what lies within. The tyranny of the urgent will be those things which we perceive as more important and more urgent. In reality they attempt to steal from that which is truly important...what lies within us.

Being a Student and a Teacher

Kids tease other kids about being a know-it-all. As they grow up the sentiment doesn't change much. While we like to seek opinions from experts in individual fields, it still holds true that know-it-alls aren't all that respected. Leaders are in the unique position of influence and carry the important role of being perceived as a constant learner.

Jack Kahl, Manco, Inc. and author of Leading from the Heart writes, "The essence of real leadership is to allow your people to see your need and desire for learning. Your actions speak more than your words. Today's leaders must be students of change first, before they become teacers of change to others."

Going Deeper for Clarity

This week Oprah hosted a show about going beytond The Secret. One of her three guests was Cheryl Richardson, a Life Coach and author. In her most recent book The Unmistakable Touch of Grace, she writes the following paragraph:

"As someone who has dedicated her life to helping people honor their values and most treasured priorities, it's clear to me the answer to living a genuine, soul-directed life is not just about practicing time management techniques or self-care strategies. While these tools are important, as long as we look for solutions in the outer world to calm our fears and anxieties, or to alleviate our loneliness, we'll always be disappointed. Instead, we need to go deeper. We must embrace what great spiritual teachers have known all along — freedom from suffering and true happiness are found in the connection we share with a power greater than us all."

The DNA of Good Decisions

Jim Collins is widely known for his best-selling book, Good to Great. As a professor and researcher he provides some great insight into making decisions.

Great decisions come from saying, "I don't know." Collins, "Which is best? Saying you don't know when you've already make up your mind? Or presuming to know when you don't and, therefore, lying to yourself? Or speaking the truth, which is: 'I don't yet know?'"

The higher the question/statements ratio, the better. Leaders need to learn how to ignite debate by using Socratic questions (welcoming others to push back and creating an environment where they want to really understand.)

Deciding is not about consensus. Debate is good and often has conflict but in the end the leader makes the call. Collins, "No major decision we've studied was ever taken at a point of unanimous agreement."

Great decisions come from external awareness. What would it take to make organizations externally aware?

Even huge decisions decide only a tiny fraction of the outcome. Collins, "They're more like six of 100 points. And there's a whole bunch of others that are like 0.6 or 0.006."

Think long term. Real leaders manage for the quarter-century.

You can make mistakes-even big ones-and prevail. That's a relief!

(Adapted from "Jim Collins on Tough Calls" Fortune)

One-Minute Ideas

The Motivational Manager (Sample Issue) offers a special section called "One-Minute IDEAS." Here's the tag-line:

Ask Your Staff to Write Personal Mission Statements

"Many companies have mission statements - documents where the goals of the company are outlined, as well as the means by which it hopes to achieve them. Why not have individual employees write mission statements of their own? Ask them write out a paragraph describing their professional ambitions and goals. It's a good way to find out where your employees want to go, and how they plan to get there."

What Makes a Good Leader?

I just read an article from Executive Leadership by Air Force Reserve Maj. Gen. William A. Cohen , a professor of leadership at California State University. He lists eight (8) characteristics that set apart good leaders from great leaders:

1. Maintain absolute integrity
2. Know your stuff.
3. Declare your vision.
4. Show uncommon commitment.
5. Expect positive results.
6. Take care of your people.
7. Put duty before self.
8. Stand out in front.

Of particular interest to me was #3, Declare your vision. He expands on this, "In fewer than 25 words, can you recite to yourself how your organization makes money and where you plan to be in five years."

I would add, Can you recite your Personal Mission Statement in fewer than 25 words?